Anger

Anger is a very common emotion that everyone experiences at times.  Children and adolescents tend to get angry when they are stressed, frustrated or feel that something is unfair.  Feeling angry at times is as natural as feeling happy and sad, and if it happens occasionally it is not a bad thing at all.  We tend to see anger as a bad thing, or even fear it because of the occasional explosive nature of it.  Many people try to avoid anger altogether, but this can lead to them expressing it in disruptive behaviour or turning their frustration on themselves in the form of self-calm. 

Children and adolescents tend to experience anger for the same reasons that adults do.  They may have been annoyed by something in the present and are reacting to it immediately.  It could also be that they were treated badly in the past and are still feeling angry about that, and end up carrying a lot of ‘bottled up’ anger around with them.

Causes of Anger

• Hereditary
• Environmental Stress- loses a parent, accident, parental neglect
• Physical or sexual abuses
• Emotional abuse
• Inconsistent parenting
• Learning Disabilities, ADHD, poor social communication skills

Treatment

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. Strategies that are used to control anger are relaxation, cognitive restructuring, problem-solving, better communication, using humour, change environment, timing, avoidance, finding alternatives etc…

Tips for parents when children are angry and fight

1. Help the children to calm down.
2. Separate the children.
3. Help the children to think about why they are angry.
4. Help each child think about what the other child is feeling.
5. Tell the children how you feel about the situation.
6. Help the children choose the best solution for the situation.
7. Praise the children when they resolve a conflict without violence.
8. Tell children it’s ok to be angry, but not ok to hurt others.